Being a woman can be a wonderful and yet difficult experience at the same time. Many women have emotions and feelings they don’t know how to handle. They look for fulfillment in many ways. They try new hair styles, diet and exercise, and continue looking for happiness in relationships. There have been countless books, television shows, movies, and documentaries about women.
What are women really looking for to make them happy?
In my years of counseling, I have found a common theme for what women are looking for. There are 5 elements that seem to come up often in therapy. Women want:
To be heard. Women want to be heard for who they are. A woman doesn’t want to have to try and say what the other person wants to hear. She wants to say exactly how she is thinking or feeling and have someone validate her for it. Even if what she is saying doesn’t seem to make sense she wants to say it and she wants someone to listen.
To be loved. Women want to be loved for who they are. A woman may need physical attention, words to let her know she is loved, undivided time spent with her, or help with the work she must do. She loves to hear “I love you” often.
To be accepted. Women want to be accepted for who they are. A woman doesn’t want to have to change to make the people around her love her more. She knows there are things she needs to change about herself. Women are constantly critical of themselves. She doesn’t need people around her telling her what she needs to do differently.
To be appreciated. Women generally accomplish many tasks in a day. These acts often go unnoticed. A woman loves to hear words telling her thank you for all she does. It just takes a minute for a person to say, “Thank you” to a woman for responsibilities she finishes daily.
To be noticed. Women spend countless hours fixing their hair and makeup, or buying a new outfit. A woman loves when other people notice it. It can make a woman’s day when someone compliments her on her hair or outfit she is wearing.
Many women will relate to these elements as well and may be saying, “Yeah, I agree with these totally! How do I get people around me to realize it?” What can women do if they can’t find anyone in their life that integrates these ideas into ways to help women feel happier?
I suggest that women turn these around and practice them on themselves!
(a) How do women hear themselves? She can write in a journal, record herself, or even talk out loud! Suggestion: Try not to judge your own thoughts. Just listen!
(b) How do women love themselves? She can look in the mirror and love herself just how she is with all her curves (or lack of curves) that she has. Suggestion: Name 20 things you love about yourself.
(c) How do women accept themselves? I believe a person can believe seemingly opposite truths at the same time. A woman can accept herself the way she is and be making changes to better herself at the same time. Suggestion: Note 20 things you accept about yourself that you can’t change.
(d) How do women appreciate themselves? Women can appreciate what they are able to get done in a day. There is always tomorrow to get more accomplished. Suggestion: Write yourself a thank you note showing appreciation for all you do.
(e) How does a woman notice themselves? Women must admit when they look at a group picture they look for themselves first to analyze how they look. That’s ok! Suggestion: Take a picture of yourself and post it on your mirror. Don’t worry that it seems vain. It’s ok to like a picture of yourself.
Women deserve to be heard, loved, accepted, appreciated, and noticed. It’s great when other people in their lives fulfill these elements that can help a woman’s happiness. Women can also contribute to their own well-being and happiness as they incorporate these practices into their lives.
Copyright: No part of this article in section or full may be reproduced without permission from the author Connie Hanson, MS CMHC. The one and only exception is for educational purposes and only if the contact information below for the author is fully cited here in article. Connie Hanson, MS CMHC, 230 N 1680 E W-2, St. George, UT 84790, 435-767-1064 https://humandynamicsid.com
If you are interested in reading more about my approach to women’s counseling, click here.